OK... 81 Days

[Denver_2010]

Thanks Toon. I think that my W would respond in much the same way that you describe of yourself here if I over played my hand. I'm just trying to balance it out a little better than I did back in March. Give her the space that she says that she needs, keep showing her that my changes are real and permanent, and keep enforcing the boundaries that I set a few weeks ago.

Thanks again!

Denver

This, Denver! This is what I am looking for from my husband. I think this is what your W is looking for from you, also.

I also wanted to say that my sitch mirrors yours, too, in that my H was "completely done" with me at one point in mid to late February. He wrote me this final-I'm-done email that wished me well in life with a washing-his-hands-of-me tone. At that point, I let go of him. I said some of the things that you said to your W. "I do want this M, but I'm no longer willing to accept..." and I truly began to feel single. Not dating-wise, but just no longer as tied to him or even slightly invested in us as a couple. Then, two weeks later, he did a complete 180. I think it really hit him that I might move on. He flipped out. There were the constant texts, the calls, the pursuing. The lashing out. And then, he just got really nice. And bought a cafe where I work so that he could be even more tied to me. And honestly, he hasn't been this consistent and this normal in a long time. So, four months later and I'm almost, slightly beginning to gain the slightest bit of hope.

I think the same thing happened to your W when you found OM on the toilet.

Thanks TG. I think so too. It's good to hear that I may be on the right track.

Denver