Fool me once, Shame on ME

[ninelives]

Thanks FAith. Just needed a reminder AGAIN. It really helps.

I was on the way to the dentist yesterday and I saw her driving towards me. I had my shades on and my motorcylce gear and pretended not to see her. I was about to walk in when I heard my sons voice. He was in the van. She was taking him swimming down at the docks which are about 2 minutes from our house.

I said no problem. He said he wanted to go to a friend's house after. Again, I gave him a thumbs up. It bothered me a little because we were supposed to go swimming in our pool which I busted my A$$ getting ready for him after school but I know that kids would rather be with their friends.

He promised me that we would do it together tomorrow.

That was yesterday.

Today as I was walking off the rugby field after my gym class, I had this feeling that things were going to be OK again. That I cant let a girl dictate the rest of my life and how I feel. I really need to drop the rope and bury it for awhile. I know this and sometimes I do but then I slide sometimes, I have to be more consistent. And be an effing man for gods sake. I have kind of failed that lately. I have been weak and emotional for such a long time.

I definitely showed her that at the beginning but I believe even though I have felt those emotions, I have not shown it to her and am trying to be strong.

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