Interesting, yes, I've heard of the testosterone peak men have in the morning. I guess all men aren't affected the same way by it though. I don't notice any peak in the morning. Rather, I'm ready for sex any time of day or night. Yeah, I can understand why your male friends want to shoot him! It sounds like your husband is simply LD. The thing is, my wife doesn't even have to treat me well for me to be horny for her. And the timing doesn't have to be right. I'm just ready for sex no matter what. Drives me nuts to read about how HD women like you end up with LD men!
As for porn, I never really understood the addiction part of that. Sure it's interesting, but it gets boring fast. I'd love to have a wife who wanted to know what my sexual fantasies were and was game to be part of them, and I'd be interesting in returning the favor. Have you tried telling him about your sexual fantasies? Wouldn't he be interested? Does he think the sexual experience is just about himself?
And if I were you, I wouldn't bother trying to snoop on his porn. It's really not that different from a vivid imagination -- none of it is real, and you won't ever get access to another person's imagination if they don't let you. If I were you, I would try to get to know what his fantasies are, which is really what guides him to the various porn.
Also, in my case, it doesn't have to be porn to get me aroused. Just pictures of well-dressed women in a clothing catalog can get me horny.
Did you say he can't finish in bed? Hmmm.... Perhaps that hints at performance anxiety on his part. I'll bet he doesn't have that problem when he's alone with porn. But if you tell him it's OK, I don't really see that he should be having a problem. I think this is the point where sex therapists recommend non-demand touching with no sex for a while. Massage might be good, as Young at Heart suggested.
If his lack of finishing in bed is related to his porn use, remember that the porn thing is entirely visual. And when you're with a partner in bed, and you're physically close, or if it's dark, the visual aid is often gone, so to speak. Just a thought, but if you could know what his fantasies are (you did see the porn he was interested in, right?) then you could perhaps do something to help provide more visual stimulation of the optimal kind during your time in bed with him? For example, I'm thinking of my wife wearing sexy clothes and lingerie, with the clothing only half off, so to speak, as we get it on. Lots of visual stimulation. Getting horny just thinking about it... If only she were interested, but that's another story.
