When the LBS truly forgives themselves and let's go of a past they can't fix or change, the ability to see and make correct decisions for themselves is what turns them into the one walking away.
As for me, I've seen things in me that I would have NEVER seen if this hadn't had happened. For that I am truly appreciative. As for my ex, she still checks, she still plays the game, a game she has yet to learn how to play differently. Not because she doesn't want to; but because she doesn't know any better. I'm sad for her.
My opinion, she doesn't know what I have changed or what she will miss. Until she has the ability to figure that out for herself, there is NO way I'm just going to sit here and live in the past. Point? Own your part; Fix you; and move on. Turn it over to a higher power, validate her, don't judge. Be angry, but accept that you are in control of you and you alone. Your feelings should be constantly evaluated by YOURSELF.
She will always have to remember or think about me. Me? I will only remember what I did wrong and what can I do differently now.
This is a GREAT post and a great perspective that you have offered, Faith/AK. It may or may not be about forgiveness or making 'correct' decisions, but many LBS become WAS. The WHY's are various. Taking it (getting together) S L O W seems to be key. My own perspective is we build our skills and our standards so much more quickly when we learn to DB or use other methods. We expect more. We understand we're worth so much. We want/expect so much more from a relationship and we know we're willing to give it and give a certain level of commitment.
It doesn't work that way, at least a good deal of the time. And yet, some of us aren't willing to compromise or bend at a certain level.
YOU CHOOSE what YOU can live with. And I think that's what a good deal of you are talking about when you talk about setting boundaries.
EACH PERSON MAKES THEIR CHOICE for their own relationship/life.
