OK... 81 Days

[Denver_2010]

UPDATE....

Still have not initiated any contact with W.

W texted me on Tuesday afternoon to see if I had looked into Disney World packages. I had and sent her some of the information.

W texted me on Tuesday night to see if I could help her with some financial aid documents for her application for SS to attend private school next year. I told her that I would and to let me know on Thursday what she needed.

We talked and texted back and forth on Wednesday about the help that she needed. W was planning on going to a friend of her's for dinner. She asked me if she could come to our house afterwards to give me some documents that she needed faxed and so that I could help her with some questions on the application. I told her that she could after I got home from the gym.

I had not heard from her by the time that I got home from working out. She called at around 9 saying that she had just got home from her friend's house and the SS had a friend at the house for a sleepover. She suggested that I could come over to her place or that we could do it on Thursday. I told her that I would just go over there.

I arrived at her house. She invited me inside. We did took care of the application and she gave me the docs that she needed me to fax for her. That took about 30 minutes. Afterwards, she asked me if I wanted a drink. I told 'sure'.

We ended up sitting out on her front porch for about 2 1/2 hours just talking. Well, mostly it was W talking as she got a little tipsy. There was no R talk. We mainly just talked about SS, my daughter and life. It was nice.

SS came out and sat on my lap for a while at one point.

We said goodnight and I left.

The only talk having anything to do with our R/M was:

1) When we were doing the financial aid application, I noticed a desk lamp that looked a lot like one that I had a very long time ago. I asked her where she got it bc I thought that it might have been mine (thought that I had thrown it out a long time ago). W told me that it was OM's. I responded with a simple 'oh. it looks a lot like one that I used to have'. A minute or two later W said, 'I have a few things of OM's here that I will need to give back to him eventually.' I didn't say anything.

2) W was talking about her teaching job and all of the politics with the school district. She said that she thought that maybe she could make just as much money just singing, giving voice lessons, and doing private tutoring if she got fed up with the politics. She said, 'that is something that you might want to consider if I'm back with you.' I said, 'what do you mean?' W said, 'I may decide that I don't want to be a teacher anymore.' I told her, 'That doesn't matter to me W.'

----

W and I have tickets to another concert tomorrow night.

I'm finding it odd that W told me 16 days ago that she wanted to just be completely by herself in June yet she is contacting me almost every day.

I have no idea if she is talking to OM. She told me that she was done with that ... also 16 days ago. I guess that I just have to trust that unless I see signs that that is not the case.

One thing that I have noticed is that the vitriol that my W had towards me, the outward anger... that she had through much of April and all of May has not been there. W has been much more pleasant to me.

I keep going back to the comment that she made last Friday night that she needs 'to work on my anger towards you'. Maybe she is actually doing that. I am cautiously optimistic.

I do sometimes find myself lost in thoughts of anger and hurt over what happened with OM when I am talking with W. It is a fresh wound that I am still not over. I have found this more difficult to move past than in February when I initially found out that she had dated OM.

That's all for now.

BITS
Denver