You are worried she is going to challenge you on the bug bites and claim you are a bad dad for not preventing them?
Validate. "Yes, bugs were bad. GOOD THING I PUT DDT AND DET AND SOME OTHER ILLEGAL PESTICIDES ON HER B/C I DIDN'T WANT HER TO ATTRACT BUGS TO ME...
D got bites and I got many as well.
Nothing you can do about nature and even the best bug remedies are not perfect, but you can't hide your D from life experiences because of bugs...
Just my thoughts...
SEE ^^ FOR "BEST" REMEDIES...
Honestly CS, I don't get her...she's not done
but she did file and she hasn't retracted....
and yet she sure likes contacting you
hmm, as for the pics/MIL, etc
send pics to your mil and maybe "cc" your w
but if you do that, you have to drop a note to MIl or say something...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Now the weird part, went with the OW I have mentioned before. Well, I made it clear while back that I could only be friends, but after drinks, etc. it got awkward. We went back to her place after for another beer and watching a movie. She laid down on my legs, yada yada yada. I said it was time for me to leave and she asked me to stay. I politely declined and headed home.
The drive home I got a sick feeling of loneliness from the whole ordeal. Hard to explain.
CS, this is a normal feeling. You desire to be with your W however she does not want to be with you(at least right now), on the flip side there is someone right in front of you who WANTS to be be you. It's Humen nature to have campanionship. That feeling you having many people act on. That's how affairs start. Good for you to remain strong.
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It's been 2 months today since W filed for D. Not a word or action on her part since. I filed my response at the end of May, I can only assume she got it.
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She's not on the "fast track" anyways, but I expect something at some point here. She needs to sh!t or get off the pot eventually.
AHH, two months? I going on two years now and my STBX has even filed!!! I have given her a road back to the M and she chose not to accept it. But she STILL has done nothing to move forward with D.
Guess what? I make settlement on my house this Monday to buy her out and remove her name from the mortgage and then I will be the one to file for D. I deserve better in a R and intend to find someone who WANTS TO BE WITH ME. Some M can't be saved, unfortunately mine is one of them. Not what I wanted but have accepted the outcome.
Many WAS leave the M, say they want a D and do not do a thing about it.
Just giving you a perspective on things.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Many WAS leave the M, say they want a D and do not do a thing about it.
My WAH has done little to move divorce forward. He sent me a separation agreement with only his name and particulars filled in expecting me to do the rest. ( I did nothing.)
Only other thing he's done to my knowledge is the Parenting After Separation course mandated by the Gov't which I also did without his knowledge.
You can see by my signature how long it's been.
I too want someone that's crazy about me and actually enjoys being around me. I don't know if my M can be saved or not. Somedays I think it can other days I'm more pessimistic and figure in the end I'm going to have to be the one to extricate myself from this pit.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
Our stories are so similar it scares me a little. I made a mistake with OW and I know how we each got to that point. Forgive yourself that’s all you can do and move forward.
Two months is squat! Your stitch is so much better than mine that I am a little envious. Not really, I wish neither of us were here. You told me to not rush into anything when I was getting frustrated, I am telling you the same, don’t push, don’t worry, enjoy your D! You know what needs to be done just make good choices and be the patient Country. Time will always be on your side. Use it for you!
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
I feel the same way, I don’t understand her either! She wants out, but can’t let go at the same time.
The other thing that is tough about her is she bottles up her feelings. She did this in our M, it was part of our problem. I never realized how much some of the things I did hurt her because she never told me. So now, with that same trend, she doesn’t open up now either. With anger or anything else. This makes it tough to have any idea what she might be thinking…
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hmm, as for the pics/MIL, etc
send pics to your mil and maybe "cc" your w
but if you do that, you have to drop a note to MIl or say something...
Well, I already sent them to MIL, no cc to W. I did send a note along with the pictures. Told her a little about our trip and said I was still looking forward to visiting her this summer.
She replied early this morning. She said how much she loved the pictures and how much they help. “Keep them coming”
She then mentioned that she is down in LA right now and will be coming through town on Sunday. She talked about stopping by.
I haven’t responded yet. TBH, I am a little nervous, and I also have not nailed down my plans yet, so I am not sure what to say right now. I am very happy that she is being so kind to me. In her card she said “you will always have a spot in our family.” My R with MIL was actually always a bit rocky. Not bad, just tense I guess. We have very different views and we both are not afraid to say them. It’s weird that this sitch has actually improved my R with MIL…
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AHH, two months? I going on two years now and my STBX has even filed!!! I have given her a road back to the M and she chose not to accept it. But she STILL has done nothing to move forward with D.
Guess what? I make settlement on my house this Monday to buy her out and remove her name from the mortgage and then I will be the one to file for D. I deserve better in a R and intend to find someone who WANTS TO BE WITH ME. Some M can't be saved, unfortunately mine is one of them. Not what I wanted but have accepted the outcome.
Many WAS leave the M, say they want a D and do not do a thing about it.
Just giving you a perspective on things.
Thanks gr8, it does really help putting things in perspective. It helps to resolve my patience. I need to remember it. 2 years, I really can’t imagine…
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I too want someone that's crazy about me and actually enjoys being around me.
This can really hit hard sometimes. I used to cherish my “alone time.” And to a point I still do, maybe this has helped me through this somewhat. But I can miss the companionship so much sometimes. I know I’ll have it again someday with someone…
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I am telling you the same, don’t push, don’t worry, enjoy your D!
These are the reminders I need. Every time we screw up it seems to be driven from a lack of patience. Wanting things to MOVE. It does get old feeling in limbo. Some times resolution one way or the others seems attractive.
However, that feeling of limbo only has to exist if that is what we focus on. Enjoy the moment, and be our best. All we can do…
Thank you everyone for all of the responses. It helps so much.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
You're doing well Country. I'm glad your MIL reciprocated the good deeds that you have done from your heart. She is taking notice of who you are as a person. I'd bet she talks with your W about the positives she sees in you.
Keep doing what you are doing. Be the man only a fool would walk away from.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Cs Keep in good relations with your MIL. The more people on your side of "reason" the better, especially if the are on the W's side of the family.
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The other thing that is tough about her is she bottles up her feelings. She did this in our M, it was part of our problem. I never realized how much some of the things I did hurt her because she never told me. So now, with that same trend, she doesn’t open up now either. With anger or anything else. …
All too familar with this behavior. Definately not a good thing, It only builds resentment.
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This makes it tough to have any idea what she might be thinking
Don't try to mind read if it's about the R. If it is about your D2 then feel free to ask her.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I have read your posts from the start and continue to do so. Just dont have much input at the moment. I think you are doing very well. Sometimes these things take a very long time to sort themselves out. Trouble is , do we have the patience to wait out the hurt, confusion and general BS.
I dont know country.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
