When they say it's a rollercoaster, they are not wrong.....
After a very positive Tuesday, yesterday was the complete opposite. Felt really down and didn't want to do anything, so so day so far!
W and mutual friends are trying to patch things up which is good, and got a message from MF that this was the case and they don't want to be in the middle of W and I, which is fair enough.
S12 came around Tue early evening to say hi, and said that our MF's were going to see W, but then said W had told both him and D14 how much savings I had in the bank...... WHY......and said W had been telling them I had more money than her...WTF. She had the car!!!! (Does this mean she is processing some anger emotions, or just being petty and resentful, who knows) Looks like she is trying to plead poverty with the kids, then S12 tells me W has purchased another new maxi dress (that's 9 now in the last two weeks!!) IDK
Got a call from S12 Tue later in the evening when MF's were around W's place, again saying he had been on the stairs for 30 minutes, and was now under his bed. He sounded upset, but said he was ok, just board as he couldn't go into the living room as W and MF's were there. I just reminded him again that we were going bowling again next week and to ask his friend about the sleepover.
Kids are going straight to W's after school, so I won't have to see her. I have decided again to be in the shower on Sun when she comes around, and we will see next week if I get another mystery call or if she makes any other contact. Will then go back to seeing her when she comes around, esp after the first occasion after she moved out when we had a lengthy conversation (no R talk) and when we were talking we were both looking into each others eyes (that was 3-4 weeks ago now though). I know now that W's LL are quality time and words of affirmation (Well I think so!) so will try and tap into that. Plus start giving compliments on how good she looks etc and asking about her work, family etc. She always asks D14 how I am and what I am doing when she calls her, I don't ask the kids anything. Think this is the right thing to do.
Going dark is difficult, I so much want to pick up the phone and call and say hi, I know she will respond, but what good does that achieve! I know I need to give this darkness another few weeks, but what then, do I start contacting her more and being friendly. I suppose to carry on with it whilst showing everyone (W) that I am GAL and seem happy, I am giving her space physically and emotionally to rationalise her choices I suppose, but what if W is getting used to the no contact and being alone (5 weeks now since W moved out), well I suppose it helps me. Lots of questions I seem to have answered myself LOL
Out tomorrow night with the H's and our MF for a few beers locally, then out with my mates on Sat. I am certainly seeing MUCH more of my friends and family which we had neglected. Cycling hasn't happened this week (don't like it in the rain LOL) but I am happy with seeing friends and family, plus house tidying and cleaning tonight.
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
