Denver, I think going downward is good sometimes. You can come out of it with more insight.
I am so biased, so take this for what it's worth. I don't think that anything could make me pursue my H now. I can be patient and watch for signs of improvement, but I am way past the point where I could actively try to get him back. If he went dark, I would detach, if he seemed interested in someone else, I would disappear.
I took steps to get out of the M (opened a shop so I had my own income), your wife had an A. Both are ways to move out of the M. Partly because of my actions,my H now seems to want to save the M, and that means he has to stop the behaviour that caused me to take those steps. He also has to reassure me, over time, that they are lasting before I can envision a future with him.
You can stay open and listen to/understand her without being taken advantage of, or having expectations. This doesn't mean you have to see her all the time, just keep this in mind whenever the opportunity presents itself.
