Journaling, Venting, I’ve been off the boards for about a week. I’ve been trying to be too busy to think about all this. For the most part it was working. There has been a melancholy building for the last few days and it came in and slammed me today.
I am angry again at W for deserting us, just when there was light at the end of the tunnel. I understand she didn’t see it that way, I get it, but that does not make what she did right. Granted it was tough, but there are people in this world and on this board that would have traded places with either of us in a fracking heartbeat. She ran away from a good life that was about to get better.
About two hours ago while I was at the top of a ladder painting a gable end I received a text message. It was from W. I read it. After much thought I don’t think she meant to send it to me, I think she was attempting to post a status to FB.
I am so GD tired of hearing about how miserable she was, how wonderful her fracking life is since leaving me. I want to reply and tell her to get over it already; we all get it, you ran the F away 6 F’ing months ago.
I will not respond. I will not permit evidence of this effecting me beyond this post. I will wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow I will write W another letter expressing my feelings. A letter that will never be sent. A letter I will burn. A letter I may write and destroy several times.
I will continue. I will persevere.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
