My gaps between posts are often because I sound like a broken record; I flipped out....again, or I did this or that....again. I guess the point behind frequent posts is to let readers get a true understanding of my situation, broken record and all. So, I guess the moral of the story is...post more.
I'm not concerned about tough medicine because I think that approach can be effective when your dealing with repeat offenders.
I talk a great deal with my IC about anger management, and I understand that when my W feels vulnerable, she wants reassurance vice an explanation / rationalization or some form of terse reply. My main issue has been the comments that come from left field, the ones that catch me off guard. Although I've been unfaithful in the past, I have a really hard time when she accuses me of anything related to trust, like looking at someone.
I know she's feeling vulnerable because of how I've treated her in the past. I know I'm lucky to have her, that she's still my W and that she's not mean-spirited.
What I lack are the tools to manage my anger before my instincts and ego has kicked in, which is a microsecond when it comes to issues of trust.
I'm sure there’re solutions on the internet; I just need to look harder.
