The big punch - Redux

[Redo]

SF: yup, you are right. I guess also i need to leran to move with the flow.

Journaling...

Just talked to my daughter. Wife is at work today so MIL tried to help out with the convo.
I guess during the convo, daughter hit herself with the phone and started crying. I know it is something so mundane. But the moment i heard her crying voice, i just had knots in my stomach. I just felt like rushing there and cradling her and comforting her.
I can still feel the presence of me carrying her when i saw her on saturday. The pain of missing out on being there with my baby is just unbearable sometimes.
Sometimes i wish god had given me harder heart to deal with this pain. Even when she was a baby and during the time wife was with me, i just could not take it when daughter cried. It is amazing. I am not exactly crazy for kids. But with my baby, i am just a melted cheese.

Just wanted to vent out the frustration on missing out the important years of my child.