Just my opinion, from a guy who's been following your sitch pretty closely, CL. Yes, things are a little smoother, but that's only to the degree that you walk on eggshells and treat her with kid gloves.
Let me ask you this: how important is physical intimacy to you in your marriage? How much has this way of treating her created attraction, and led to intimacy?
"Miserable" was probably too strong a word. You do come across as "sad" to me, and that makes ME sad, cuz you sound like a great guy, with a lot to offer.
