Oh my goodness, yes, I know how to detach. Detachment to my old screaming H wasn't hard, trust me. It's been a fabulous 6 months of peace, as far as that goes.
I was thinking *maybe* he'd learned something after almost 6 months of no contact. The ultimate in going dark, eh?lol. Never did that one before but it's supposedly powerful.
And he's had counseling. So *maybe* there has been some change--not that I am going to "make it happen". Maybe it just did happen. I gave that over to God a long time ago.
I should probably have a 5 minute conversation and find out--I'll know in about 5 minutes "where he's at".
Not that I care--haven't called him, have been busy, it's all about me at the moment, thanks very much.
And then YOUR question of "what do I want" threw me. I thought you could see "something" I was missing. I had already accepted that this was over--the forgiveness is coming along great, school is great, I have a bucket list, friends, had my first "party" Sat night, I volunteer for Hospice, etc.
All things my H wouldn't let me do--I'm painting walls, took up carpet, re-tiled bathroom, put up PICTURES and put HOLES in the wall.(gasp)lol.
And the "warm and loving at home thing". Ok, I learned 7 years ago all about that one--I made it so wonderful at home for him that he wouldn't let me leave! I cooked favorite meals, rubbed feet for hours, watched all his shows, never, ever, NEVER said a cross word or complained--he LOVED coming home.
And I'm not complaining--I was a good wife and I know it. I LOVE that I did that and was that person.
Like I said--when I got the ILYNIL speach AGAIN ????? OMG--I was a LOT less than "warm at home" and went out and had FUN!
And I'm still having it!
I just happen to like truth darts--one of the many things I learned here that have been helpful to me over the years. I used them before (on him) and they helped.
