ooohweee what'sup wit that

[MichelleLT]

If we forget, we risk repeating past mistakes. The trick seems to be not letting the memories move you back, but rather forward.

YES!

Everyone I have seen R says it is better, but different. Deeper, but also more painful as you work to build the intimacy. But it pays off. Big time.

Piecing is hard. Processing the resentment, the anger, the why did you come back now and not befores.

2step - she thought she'd tried everything, therefore she told herself she had to leave. She didn't try everything, because she didn't know what other options were out there. You cannot blame her for lack of knowledge. We are all ignorant at some point.

You have to move one. You have to focus on you. You have to learn and grow. You have to be okay by yourself. Regardless of what happens in the M, D, R, or a new relationship.

People have to go a certain distance away before they can consider R. That's why it is important to back off early. I also see her move as part of her journey back to you. I also see her anger as a very very good thing (you don't get mad at something you don't care about, you just don't care). Anger means she is processing some of her resentment, going through another phase of her own journey.

But that's just speculation. The important thing it to take it day by day and focus on you and your D. Don't get caught up in the what ifs, the maybes.

Keep it business. Be courteous but not overly helpful. Keep it NC. Back off on all the books and questions about Jody. If she wants to finish the sessions, she will. If she wants to read the books, she will. If not, that's also her decision. Give her more than just physical space, give her emotional space.