I read your letter and I can relate. I’ve caused a great deal of pain for my W. I was talking to her this morning and wished that I could go back in time to remake all the poor decisions of my life, but I can’t. The only thing I can do is move forward, although I’m definitely making it hard for my W to make the journey with me.
I truly love my W; I’m sure many readers are laughing ……..or cursing, but it’s true, I’m in awe of all she’s accomplished. Maybe in some weird way I look at my W as someone I can lean on, so heavily, that I can say just about anything and she’ll always be there to support me. I know this isn’t the case. In the past, my wife has been exceptionally supportive of me and my career in the military, but I haven’t shown her the same respect.
When things go "pear-shaped" my first instinct is to throw-in the towel, which is really unproductive and hurtful. I know I need to resolve my issues quickly, before I create more damage my W leaves for a new life.
I need to heal and to work on improving myself, so I can hopefully have a real discussion with my W without losing my mind.
