I am the devil....

[tadpole1025]

Thanks 25, Antonia and AJ.

It has been a while since I last posted. Thought I would give everyone a little update on what has been going on. Basically, I'm just journaling because there is really nothing new to report.

* W had her surgery to control bleeding and had her tubes tied. Her biopsy came back negative. She let everyone know how it went except for me of course. She even sent my mom a text. (???)

* The job I was hoping to get fell through, but I may have another one in the works.

* W told S16 that I was being vengeful for asking for custody of him and asking for child support. She said if she got custody and I had to pay child support, she would give the money back to me. I don't believe her because when she first moved out, she asked me for $400 a month.

* W told me that she can understand why S18 is so upset with her, but at the same time accused me of brainwashing him. (???)

* When she left, she accused me of not letting her become a vegetarian. S16 says that she has a freezer full of meat. It's not that I wouldn't "let" her, I just didn't want to become one too.

* She has been reaching out to our kids more and trying to talk to them. She hasn't contacted me in over a week.

* I'm still trying to find a smaller place to live. Can't afford my house these days.

* I still have my days, but overall I am getting better. I feel like the more time goes on, the less hope there is.

* W's sister has removed me and two of my sons from her Facebook page. Don't know why.

* I feel like I have changed a little bit. I'm calmer and a little less high-strung. I seem to take things as they come better and really don't worry as much about things. What happens, happens.

* A couple of weeks ago when W was here for S18's graduation party, I was cooking hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill. I offered some to W. She said: "No. I don't eat that stuff anymore." A couple of days later, while S16 was visiting with her, she cooked hot dogs. (???)

* I still am waiting on a court date. The longer I have to wait, the better.

* W says that she would have given me a second chance, but she didn't because I was so angry about things when I found out about the internet dating site. On the other hand, she tells everyone that she did give me a chance. (???)

* W hardly has any contact at all with her "old" friends. She has alienated everyone.

* All 4 of my sons are with me again. I'm trying to get the older 2 out and get on with their lives, but no luck yet.

* S16 told me that if W gets custody, he would run away. He wants nothing to do with her. S18 doesn't even talk to her.

* W says that I didn't give her the time she NEEDED back in December when she first moved out. (That is when I was doing all of the wrong things.) She says that that is another reason that she didn't give me a second chance. Then again, she says that she did give me a chance. (???)

* I wish that she could see the damage she has done.

* W says that she has been unhappy since the mid 90's. I can remember her telling me in the past that those were some of her happiest times.

I think that is basically it. Like I said, I just wanted to update everyone on what has been going on in my sitch. I'm still nuts about her, but hope is fading fast.

Tad