I understand Talkartoon. My wife always told me that each episode of my anger, where I would cuss, throw things, etc.. would deplete the love she had for me. There is only so much you can take before it just isn't there anymore. Her words to me when she left was "I just don't have anymore to give".
Writing that letter to my EW did help me a bit...But it was for her. I want her to heal so her anger towards me doesn't cause her any pain in the future. I want her to be happy with or without me.
I'm sure every man on this board WISHED his W wanted the marriage to work like you do.
Herbgarden...If you are reading this, the ball is in your court. Your wife wants the marriage to work. She is doing everything she can to hold on. YOU need to get the help you need to make the positive changes in your life. But please, don't do this for your wife. Do this for you. If you do it for her, there is a good chance you will be back in this situation in the future. The only way to change is to WANT to change for YOURSELF.
Ask yourself these questions...
Do I like the person I currently am?
Do I like how I treat the people I love?
How do I want to treat the people I love? What do I need to do to get myself to this point?
What will happen if I do nothing? Do I want to do something? Do I want to be happy?
We are creatures of habit. Even if you can't save this marriage, you are going to repeat this same behavior in future relationships.
