Last night I did not touch STBX's side of the bed or say "good night. I love you" to someone that isn't there. I still thought it though. I also went to bed in the middle of my huge California king. I woke up on my side, but slept well.
For a long time, I have been thinking about writing a book regarding the last 2 years of my life. Obviously, it will likely never be published, but I started writing it this morning. It may be too much living in the past, or it may be the catharsis I need to move forward. I may give up after a couple days. We'll see.
It was nice to go back to dark yesterday. The two conversation with STBX on the weekend allowed me to make some things clear and open, but really got to me too. One thing - there was no mention of the cards I included in the box of stuff I had S17 take to her. I think that's a good thing.
