So...am I still a newcomer?

[any chance?]

My IC told me once that sometimes it is good to have some information tucked away. If you confront every deception, you will spend all your time snooping and confronting, snooping and confronting, and that is no way to live.

Like mine, your W is either going to notice who you are now, and realize what she is losing, or she is not. The probablity for both of us is that they are not going to notice until they are out of their fog. Hopefully that will happen in a time frame we can deal with.

We are told to believe nothing that we here and only 50% of what we see. I would bank the OM funds, the phone and the computer for a bit, unless it becomes unbearable. She may be in a confused fog, and it will dissapate through time. Or she might be using you like a doormat. Like me, only time will tell.

Suggest you take the high road. Bank the information. Quit snooping, but don't be blind. Keep DBing. For yourself, not for her. Give yourself some time and space. Save the confrontation until YOU decide it is time to call it quits. IMO, now is not the time.

Be strong.