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[RedNailPolish]

Hi Bond, yes he said his mum told him to apply for 50/50 custody. But Im not going to discuss it with her as it is non of her business and as Ive found out getting her involved only causes further problems. But you are right, I have to make sure that I dont see her in a negative light - she is S3s grandmother afterall. And for the sake of S3 I need to make our relationship amicable.

Virginia, thank you so much for taking the time to write to me. I appreciate it so much. You are right it hurts so much. The time away from H really did me good. It gave my wound time to heal. But when I have contact with him my wound seeps and throbs and its so very painful.

I have taken the time to reasses my situation. And you are correct. I dont want to give 50/50 custody of S3 but its not about what i want. Its about whats best for S3.
However here are my concerns:
- H is not the best parent at the moment. He feeds S3 junk food and take away. S3 is still in nappies and he came home on the weekend after having spent 10 hours with H and his nappy had not been changed all day - his pants were soaking wet! And he was starving - poor little guy. H does not take time to read him book or teach him anything. H buys his love, ie toys toys and more toys.
- H cannot do anything on his own with S3. He takes him to MILs house and hangs out there all day and night. I am worried that if he has him all weekend and MIL is busy then he will introduce S3 to OW. This concerns me as S3 is so young and OW is CRAZY!

However, in saying all of this i realise that I have no control over H's actions. And legally he has the right to 50/50 custody. H was meant to call me last night to discuss custody. I was on the phone and received a text saying he tried to call but it was busy so he will call me tomorrow. I text back 10 seconds later and told him I was free to talk. No reply. I text again half an hour later asking him if he wanted to talk. No reply. Finally an hour later I text to say that I understand that it is difficult to talk as we had not done so in over a month but when he felt like calling me regarding S3 he could do so.

Then this morning, he text me saying he got caught up so he couldnt talk. Then another message asking about his gym equipment. Followed by a voicemail asking if we could catch up tomorrow just the two of us to talk, and for me to call him back to confirm if i could make it. Then 10 mins later he calls to ask about tomorrow night again. Seriously! One minute he wont answer then I get bombarded with sms, voicemail and now he wants to talk in person.

The talk will be about access to S3 and most likely the sale of the house. I havent talked to him alone for nearly two months. Im going to need alot of PMA, strenght & luck for this one!