First I want to start by saying we have found PM to be well... Kinda mild. Saying we are extremely adventurous would be putting it mildly. I have found that his writing can be rather detailed at times, but up until Ch 3 he has not described anything that hasn't happened or doesn't regularly already happen in our bedroom. We kinda laughed at some of the couples since some of their hang ups wouldn't even phase us. Yet as YAH mentioned PM really does challenge the average WAW to re-examine myself. I see it as a godsend to have a book that tells her it's ok to be her own individual while staying committed to me. (differentiation) At the same time it's another reminder to me that I need a strong identity of my own. (that along with GAL and learning how not to be NG)
She is still skeptical but I can tell she sees merit in some of schnarch's assertions. I can tell that PM was definitely written with the recovering WAW in mind.
After reading Ch 1-3 her MLC totally makes sense.....
25
I understand why it is so important for us to wait. Also I understand that 1 or 2 weekends is just the start. My perspective on this is from remembering those hard weekends a few months back where everything seemed lost. Having a weekend like the last one is heaven compared to that. So I'm trying to view happiness as a step by step process. Any step forward is a cause for celebration.
As for discussing an open marriage, part of the deal of fixing us was that we were getting fixed to survive an open marriage. I recognize that things may or may not change along the way. We may both decide closed is better, but until that day we are preparing each other with lots of reassurances, love, and affection. Also knowing her amazing ability to table issues and emotions, I think it's a good thing that we discuss these issues.
I also like to know where she stands, I try not to pester her, and indeed do keep OP talk to minimum, but knowing her feelings helps me prepare emotionally.
Also as yah said we need to find good outlets right now porn and strip clubs work, maybe we might up the ante maybe we'll tone it down. She wants to be comfortable with who she is and how she expresses it. I want us to find something we are both comfortable with. 25 you are right baby steps are necessary, I'm just happy where we are now.
