Yesterday, I got mad at my W again. She made a comment about how long the grass was at the rental property, after I had just mowed it. I said, that I didn't get a chance to finish the job properly because the grass was really long to begin with and that I had to clean-up the cuttings, etc in the front yard, before I could head to the back yard. Either way, it triggered something in my W that gave me the impression that she was accusing me of being somewhere else, with someone else, rather than doing yard work.
Accusations/comments like these are a real trigger for me, one that I can't seem to control.
My relationship would be much better off if I could learn to reassure, vice accuse. I know my wife doesn't trust me, and I know the reason why; I'm abusive and unsupportive and I've cheated in the past.
My W is now posting on DB (Talkartoon). In all honesty, she's the one who steered (pushed) me towards DB and she's been reading my posts all along to see if I'm putting any effort into this process.
I know there isn’t a magic book with all the answers. Most of you have been really clear with me that I must change immediately or else my W will leave. I am a slow learner.
