I'd read your situation and all I can say is good luck.
but tell me what kind of example are you setting for those beautiful children? You and your M ,for better or worse, will be their guides on how they run relationships for the REST OF THEIR lives. Are you content to give them a bad example? Are you content to show that that the marriage bonds/vows really mean nothing because you allow the EA/PA to continue? Are you content to show then that love, respect, honestly, communication aren't required in a marriage and the only thing that makes a marriage is staying in the same house and being civil.
Lastly, are you okay with your children having the same kinda of marriage you have now, just because you didn't want to rock the boat? Are you okay with your children having the pain you are going through and have gone through or inflicting it on another?
Because you are showing them each and every day that kind of marriage is okay.
Don't believe me? Why do you kids who see/experience abuse are more likely to abuse? It's learned behavior. you kids learn from you.
I usually avoid discussions or defense of my posts on this forum, but I am making an exception here to clarify some assumptions.
#1. We no longer have a marriage, we're officially divorced. The kid's know this.
#2. I have not told the children about the affair. D17 may suspect something, but I doubt S12 does. And in the final agreement neither spouse is to badmouth the other to the children. I signed it.
#3. I do not have the power to "allow" anything W does. She'll do what she wills whether we live together or not. With that, the kids are more comfortible with their mother around - temporarily of course - and I have determined they will be better off in the long run.
#4 I do have a small boundery regarding OM. He is also married and cheating. He lives in Ohio; we are in FL. He never comes around here, W goes to see him. If that were to change, she knows she'd have to move out; I've made that clear.
#5 Nobody knows what kind of marriage my kids will wind up having, not even you. When they are older, my kids will know I did my best to keep the family together during their minor years under extremly trying circumstances.
One way or ther other the ex-spousal co-habitation will be temporary. It's just a phase.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
