Dark Side of the Moon

[LearningPatience]

As usually happens, as the day went on my mood improved quite a bit.

Had a full physical today for the first time in probably 7 years (I see my specialists much more often).

BTW, I'm fine, but blood tests in the morning after fasting.

Other interesting, humorous note: watching Lost with my boys when one of the characters (Sawyer) complains to one of his con victims that "in a divorce, the women always get the money and the guy gets the crappy apartment". As soon as he said this, my S14 and I looked at each other and smiled (from the comfort of my crappy apt). I hope I haven't soured him on M

[BeTheMan]

It's ironic that some LBS comment negatively on moving to an apt, while others are negative about staying in the house and keeping up the mortgage, housecare etc.

I am actually happy that I kept the kids, house, cat, dog and bird. Well...maybe not the parrot when it makes a lot of noise. For a while it felt like I was living in a shrine of memories, but not now. Even sleeping in "our" bed in "our" room doesn't feel like that anymore. It's a lot of work looking after the house, yard etc on my own, but I still have plenty of free time. I must - I post here a lot.

Anyway...another day of darkness achieved my BID.

[notsosunny]

Hey...Learning? Hows it going today?

Sunny

[LearningPatience]

Well sunny, today is:

good - 3 1/4 mile run, followed by

bad - potatoes and celery fried in bacon grease, followed by

bad - looked at Ws FB profile, which is

good - she still lists herself as married, which is

good - as I'm flying to a bachelor party weekend in Milwaukee, which could be

bad - as the last time I was there, I spent my birthday too hung over to leave the hotel room, but that was

good - as my W was with me and we felt miserable together

and yourself?

[notsosunny]

Good morning LP.,

Bad. weather
Good Camp is slow, which gives me a break,
Good I'm getting over this stupid summer cold / hay fever so sleeping better
Bad My young mini schnauzer feel out of our bed in the camper its about a 4 ft drop and hes limping! LOL He will be fine hes one tough little boy
Better!!! Finally were gonna go drown a worm together!
Maybe we will have a fish fry tonight, If not hot dogs yuck~


Over all doing great Have fun at your bachelor party, and stay safe, on the other side of our beautiful lake....


Sunny

[LearningPatience]

Well, my GAL was off the charts this weekend. There were 10 of us that went to Milwaukee Friday for a bachelor party (3 more showed up Saturday) and there was a lot of partying going on both nights.

Friday night we went to a bunch of bars in the touristy/younger area of the city. I rode a mechanical bull and started hanging out with a bachelorette party going on.

Saturday morning I ran for 5 1/2 miles along the lakeshore, went better than I thought it would for how much we drank the night before.

That day the group of us went on a distillery tour (I bought some absinthe) and went out to a different part of town with an older, professional crowd. In a complete 180 for me, I went and talked to some attractive women (I usually sit back and watch, kinda shy). I'm sure the liquid courage helped. Hung out with them, one of them bought me a drink and our groups all went to a dance club. Had a great time there (I normally don't dance either), talked to lots of lovely ladies and left a little earlier than the rest of our group (yes, by myself).

Got a little lost walking back to the hotel so I had plenty of time to think as I slowly sobered up. For some odd reason, I was thinking about my first W and whether I should get back together with her. We've been really close lately. I think I need to be careful here.

Yesterday (Sunday) was my SDs 20th birthday, so I texted her from the airport. Sent her a card earlier in the week and she thanked me for it. When I got back home I had an IM conversation with SIL. She brought up W and didn't realize I went dark on her. At one point she told me

"I know it's not easy but you need to watch out for yourself and not allow her to hurt you any more. You deserve someone who treats you right and doesn't take you for granted. I love my sister but she wants to act like a 21 year old and she's nearly 40 and that's just a shame because she let a good relationship slip away. SD isn't the most mature person in the world because she's still young, but in many ways she's more mature than W is."

Have I ever mentioned that I love my ILs?

Three weeks of NC whatever with W. Missed her a lot last night but hardly thought of her at all during the trip. I'm sure W will hear about the trip, and there's plenty of pics of me and the ladies we met, but that's ok. Might show her I'm going to have fun with or without her.

[LearningPatience]

Stardate today:

didn't sleep well last night, ended up taking off half day of work this morning. I do remember one dream I had that was kind of weird. It involved me vacuuming under a Christmas tree, kittens underneath the tree marking their territories with my asthma/allergy meds and me laughing about it with W off to the side. The funny part in the dream was that I never saw the W, so when I woke up, I didn't know which W was in my dream, my first one or current W.

W sent me an email this morning after almost three and a half weeks of me going dark. She asked a bunch of small, logistical type questions, including what my plans were for the U2 concert. I haven't responded yet, but I believe I will this afternoon. Guess I should make a final decision on the concert

[LearningPatience]

OK, here's the email W sent and my reply (which hasn't been sent as of 11:30 EDT):

Me,
How would you like to handle our upcoming U2 Tickets?

Can I get the name of the eye doctor you took the boys to so SD can make an appt. when she is out here?

What should I do with the small stack of mail for you?

I could not remember if your lease was 6 or 9 months but six is coming up if we need to discuss moving etc.

If you don't feel like you can talk with me directly than let me know how you want to proceed. I don't want to get my family in the middle so if there is another way than please suggest it.

Thanks,
W

My replies:
I'm definitely going to the U2 concert. I'd like your company, I've heard it was a great show.

The optometrists office is called (company name). They're at (address), phone (phone). If you are driving through (town) on the way to the country, it'll be on your left. It's a big converted house. If you cross the railroad tracks you went too far. (web address)

You can leave the mail at MIL's if you're comfortable with that. If not, I'll think of something else. I have a few things for you too (ha ha), nothing important except for car insurance card.

My lease is 6 months, but I have the option of month-to-month after that.

Take care
Me

[LearningPatience]

OK, I sent the response above. I instantly felt my heart racing, breathing more labored, bp go up and a headache. I think I'm literally afraid to open the response (assuming she sends one).

Think I'll have some coffee to calm me down

[LearningPatience]

Well, nothing new under the sun here. I didn't get any sort of reply to the email; then again, nothing really *needed* a response. I felt both physically and mentally cr*ppy yesterday. Went to bed early, took a benadryl to keep me asleep, it kinda worked (still tossed and turned). This morning, not feeling as bad as yesterday, but my sinuses are stuffy and I still feel a little weak.