"Piecing" zone...SO read up on it...it's not easy and some say it's the hardest part
but they overlook the value of HOPE and how it colors your efforts in rose colored glass...
when there is little hope to hang onto, things really sukkk
sure, piecing is hard b/c you want to rush it and yet still there are bumps
and they scare you b/c you think every back slide could be the last... you have to both know you will backslide and it does NOT mean you are failing...SOME level of trust is mandatory
it's hard, but your goal is officially possible now...whether you want it or not...
also, your w is not off base in saying a move in next week is too soon.
Allow me a tiny quibble Denver, okay?
I thought your SS' observation at the coffee place was in fact TRUE
just b/c you did something wrong in the past does NOT make you guilty today
and I worry about undermining his perspective when he was spot on, in truth...ya know?
I mean, he saw the truth about you NOT flirting or doing anything wrong...and then he spoke up for you
and then got shot down-
all b/c you wanted to validate your w, who is
still living in the past and still holding grudges...
Not fair to him (or you) AND not "real data" about the Denver of [i]today [/i]
she will have to start with the Denver of today as a threshold assumption
at some point
or you'll get rehashing too much and they'll set you back
you must be "allowed" to converse with "female people", not to mention how it helps you professionally, it's also normal friendly behavior.
I'm an extreme extrovert (Meyers Brigg confirms what I already knew about that, big family, lawyer, you get the picture)
but I usually manage to insert a comment about my h, or m, to somehow make sure I don't give the wrong impression with my outgoing nature. You can do the same. My H is comfortable with it (or so I think... )
So maybe next time re word it so you address the fact that your w's reaction was triggered by past mistakes of yours,
but yes, SS was correct, you did nothing wrong that day nor did HE
but otherwise, and overall,
big picture stuff----
YES, this is good news! ...regardless of what you decide,
it's nice
not being in "stuckville", isn't it?
Congrats!.......
just think how you felt a few weeks ago
and say a big THANK YOU to the big Guy upstairs...at one point I believe you thought only
a miracle would help....well....
So ask HIM for help with the forgiveness part. (I read that God doesn't mind us asking for miracles
he wishes we asked for more of them...
honestly, I think you are on a road with some risks, but which will ultimately lead you to a very good place
Stay on course,
you are doing wonderfully and resiliently well
and it's threads like yours and 9's and 2steps, FaithAK and many from my past here
who all remind me of what great partners men can be, how strong yet fragile their hearts are, how deep their loyalties,
and why it is
that I was able to hug my h, casting off my fears
jumping in with both feet
knowing that indeed it was the right thing to do.
Just so I know I've said it here, THANK GOD...for all of "this"
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
) 