Journaling.. Pride was this weekend. Haven't been to one since 05. It was full of mixed emotions. Sadness that my wife wasn't joining me. Anger that she was too ashamed of us to be part of the LGBT community. We had excuses but in all honesty.. she just wasn't comfortable. More sadness when all the women I saw wasn't half as attractive as my w. But happy that women hit on me. I haven't felt attractive for a long time. That felt nice.
Still struggling with what to do with my w. I feel each day I get stronger as an individual. I know DBing is for me.. I'm enjoying the new life that I'm building. It's hard to fight for a relationship that was broken or one that doesn't exist.
Thankfully I am NCing. Time and space.. really does wonders.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
