Legit DBing? or is this just calm before storm?

[MommaDucki]

So, wanted to add that D3 and I had taken a trip to see H for father's day in june at my dad's request. I was earning enough to get by at that time, but didn't have funds for a trip, and my parents gave me money and told me to go.

Didn't really mind the getting away...home life was a bit crazy with my sister and her kids there, the wedding, etc. I did come back refreshed enough to finish my contract job successfully and went on to an even better job.

But I still wasn't really happy. Was July, and just not warm to me. Was trying to keep busy with friends and work, but was still arguing with my parents a lot. Dad felt I shouldn't go anywhere besides work...My mom felt I needed chances to go out and just be social, so they bickered with each other about it. They were very against me paying a sitter to be at their house while they were home to listen for D3 when she was asleep. Didn't really want me taking D3 to a sitter's house bcause I'd have to pick her up on my way home and disrupt her sleep schedule.

I had specific things I valued taht I wanted being instilled in D3 and my parents felt that I was wrong for wanting certain things. I had to learn that I can't conmpletely control what happens with D3 when I'm working, etc. I can state my opinions, wishes, desires, but I cannot force someone to be me when I'm not there.

I felt at times that they were too lax in caution around her. I didn't feel she was in utter danger, but didn't feel she was 100% safe when I wasn't there. When sister moved in, both my nephews N8 and N6 (their current ages to date) who are both very crafty boys were just leaving scissors etc lying around. My sister took a very very lax attitude about life and her kids when she S from her H.

They are my nephews and my neice (N4), and I love them, but I feel my sister is doing wrong by them, and didn't really like how much time D3 was having to spend with them. She started changing, and i didn't feel it was for the better.

My sister lets her kids do just about whatever. she feels it gives them learning room. They have no regard for possessions. When they moved in, within a week, I had thrown out quite a few of D3's toys becauuse they'd been broken beyond repair.

Led into my issues again with being possessive of my things.
D3 and I shared a bedroom in the basement of the house. My brother had 2nd bedroom down there, but was rarely home. Sister and N4 had one bedroom upstairs, N8 N6 had another, and my parent had the third upstairs. Bathroom on each floor, and a finished familyroom in basement as well. Till sister moved in, basement was basically mine. , so her toys and stuff were out in the familyroom. When sis moved in, all 4 kids would play downstairs. After toys started getting broken, I put all my things away.

Led to fights about how i didn't want to share. Yes, i didn't want to...not if people had no curtesy to respect what i worked hard to buy.

N8 would respond, "well, who cares if we break it, just buy another one...that's what my mom does. she doesn't care what we break." Furniture was being abused, my parents had to replace a chair in livingroom upstairs, dad had to reglue two diningroom chairs because they got broken, some holes were punched or kicked in walls of boys bedroom.

Stress all over the place.

July '10 sister finds out stbx has gotten his new girlfirend pregnant, as well as served her D papers. She had moved out of county and was 3 days from being able to file in new county and he filed....so court date set in a county 3 hours from where she lives, her lawwyer she'd been talking to says it's going to be costly, she drops lawyer, decides to reprsent herself, pisses my parents off in doing so...

again, stress everywhere...

As far as H goes, Aug '10 rolled around and a couple that are mutual friends of both H and I were about to relocate back to city where H lived. H decided to let them move in to his apt temporarily. Well, not really a couple. H and I didn't know the girl, but H figured since she was with our friend, maybe he'd mesh well enough with her.

end of Aug, H took on new job that would be requiring a lot of travel. He was out on west coast for two months, then east coast for two months. will touch on that more when needed.

Sept, my brother decided to move out, so now he's gone...little less stress caused by him, but stress increases at home. Sister's job training is now over, and she's bumped up to 70 hours a week at work....my mom's frazzled, I start getting all 4 kids dropped on me at every chance, so since I was doing scheduling at my job, I started upping my own hours.

Kept stressing that when I wasn't working, I just wanted to be my own family with D3. Wanted to spend one on one time with just her. my stbxBIL wasn't really taking his kids for stays, and like my H, wasn't paying child support. He and H have similarities for sure...

My sister and I had very similar requirements for our jobs, but mine was on a much smaller scale for sure. We did always manage to have different days off, and I always sucked it up and watched her kids on my day off. The only exception to that was my day off was also the day of the week I went to IC, so when I went to my appointments, my mom had the kids.

My IC turned into talking about my M problems to coping with the sttresses of living at my parents' house.

My T was helping, somewhat, and between that, and my journaling, I was trying to stay sane...lol

again, sorry long post...will end here for now...