Legit DBing? or is this just calm before storm?

[MommaDucki]

So, I snapped...yeah...

Add to it, while I was down on a rescue mission, my mom was using my car, and somehow, something under the hood caught fire and whole car went caput!

So, I get back with hardly any of my possesions, and now no car, and it's middle of winter, snow everywhere, and wham! I kinda flew a little off my rocker.

I bought a new car for myself early feb, and was looking forward to mid feb when I was taking my paid vacation with work. Was going back down to see H so he and D3 could be together for her 2nd birthday.

$ days before I was supposed to leave, new schedule was posted at work, and I was on it. What?!?! Turned into a big dispute over supposedly not having correct apporval for time requested off...was my boss' fault because he never submitted the aproval form.

I was mad, and on top of it had been working with a new lady since previous nov, and we weren't getting along so well. We had same job title. She had worked for the company for 30+ years, but we still had same job title, and according to employee hadbook and labor union contract, senoirty was based on length of time at current store (this is in meat dept at a grocery store btw).

I'd been at that store for 13 months, and her 3. Was tired of her trying to be overbearing and act like my boss...was in disputes with labor union because she kept calling in to complain about me. was several investigations, and she kept geting told I was in the right. lol

So, anyow, I'm upset my vacation's not approved, as I'd counted on it for months. Union was going to stand up in my defense. When I'd gotten back from my break, other lady was upset again for some meat not being priced the wrong way and started throwing it at me. Was all caught on camera. I didn't feel I could stand there and take it anymore and I walked out of the job.

Was all stupid on my part....I have never and won't ever claim to be perfect. I was rash, and heated. I tried to get job back, but couldnt. Took vacation anyway, and enjoyed it for what it was worth.

When I got back, i took on a position as a homeorganizer for a family. Was intense, and long...3 1/2 months in fact...won't get into all details, but did a ton of building, moving furniture, organzing and sorting of all their possessions, painted, and basically got a majority of their stuff set up for an estate sale that took place at the end of my contract.

During all that time, i didn't care what H was up to. He lost his job in may '10. Had a short lived PA with OW2 that i know nothing of (thank goodness!). All I know is H told me he was using her to help pay rent and she left him because she felt taken advantage of.

Basically from Feb after vacation till Oct '10, mine and H's interactions were very limited and dark. We stayed in touch about D3 as much as needed. Was around July that he brought up missing me, wanting to have a R again, and figured he'd ask me about working on M first seeing as I was the one who was already M to. I felt his words were crap...lol.

Told him I appreciated the interest, but didn't feel it was the right time and that he didn't sound genuinely sincere about it. That if he truly wanted to work on M, that he could make an honest start of it by just contacting me more. He tried, but I didn't really give him the time of day.

I had too much stuff going on all around me to really want to think about M or H since may '10. I was still on home job, and my sister that was also S finally admitted to my parents and herself that she just couldn't cut it as a single mom with 3 kids. She was in over her head, and had taken advantage of my other 3 sisters who lived near her to the point of them not helping her with childcare any longer.

So, Was my parents, D3 and I, my brother, my sister, and her 3 kids now all living back at my parents house. My baby sister (though she was 22) was still technically there as well, but was about to graduate collge and get married as well.

Seems like a lot, but was still only 9 people..same as what we'd had growing up with 7 kids and all. Was a strain though because my brother was still hanging out with a bad crowd, my sister and I were both working odd opposite hours and my dad works shift work. Kids were out of school, and my mom was doing her best to help watch all 4 kids and help plan a wedding.

Wedding came and went with no hitches, was a great day, and after the wedding, it was help my newly married sster move her stuff out of the house. That done, and it's now july, my contracted job was over, my sister had landed a really good job with a major fast food restaurant as high end management, and I took on a position at a small scale restaurant in the local mall's food court.

Well, two weeks after store opened, they chose their assistant manager out of initial crew, and it just happened to be me!

So, I took on Assistant manager, got decent salary increase, and things seemed to be going well. With all that going on, was why I didn't really give H the time of day.

Felt great, felt positive, though I was sstill really unhappy.

more to come...