[LITB]

I wanted to share something interesting with the board that happened to me, while contemplating the fight for the custody of my kids.

Back in March I had gone to bible study and the pastor said something that stuck in my head. He said, “when you pray, do you ever stop to listen to God for what he wants you to do or do you just pray to ask God about your needs? He gave us one mouth and two ears for a reason.” That’s me paraphrasing.

That night before bed, I read my meditation book and said my prayers. While I prayed , I asked the Lord to give me the strength and the wisdom to make all the right decision regarding my situation and specifically about my kids. After I was done praying, I sat there quietly and listening for a few moments. Nothing happened and I went to bed.

Sometime during the night, not one of my kids, but both of them came to sleep with me. Mind you, neither of them are in the habit of coming to my room after bedtime. I don’t remember them getting into bed, but when I woke up to both of them, I felt that was God telling me to fight for my kids and everything will be just fine.

Even though I took that as a sign, I still had a lot of fear.

The fear of pushing my W further away.

The fear of putting my kids through an ugly custody battle.

The fear of having to work the rest of my life paying for my wife to live her life off of my support.

Just plain fear.

Then I started reading some of the post by 25 to MyKarma on his thread and to someone else in their thread about fighting for our kids. It made perfect sense, but I still had fear.

Then on May 27th, I opened my meditation book (Moments of Peace in the Presence of God Morning and Evening Edition). A great book BTW that has given me peace.

This is the title of the evening meditation:
WHEN FEAR COMES CHARGING IN

When I get really afraid I come to you in trust. Psalm 56:3

Fear is a powerful, unreasonable emotion. It influences how you think and react, and it even affects your physical well-being. Fear will stop you from reaching your potential or from allowing your loved ones to be all they can be. You know God is directing you in a certain way, but you refuse to step out in faith because of your apprehension.

Understand that your fear is based on an expectation of punishment-you believe it’s inevitable that only bad things will happen. Instead, you must focus on God’s character. God is all-powerful, all knowing, and completely loving. So obey him-he’ll only lead you in what’s best for you. With God, you never have to be afraid.

God, fear is a powerful influence in my life. Help me to obey you in faith and trust you whenever my anxieties come charging in. Amen

In God, whose word I praise, in God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me? Psalm 56:4

After reading this, I’m like, “okay God, I hear you loud and clear.”

The last thing that finally helped me get over my fear was my W. On Memorial Day I took her temperature. I know DB preaches against it, but I needed to see where her heart was before I hired an attorney(crazy I know). She unleashed on me and said some mean things. It told me that I couldn’t push her further away. I didn’t need to fear that anymore. It was already a reality.

Do I know how things will turn out? No, but I don’t have the fear anymore and I know that no matter what happens……LITB will be okay.