Legit DBing? or is this just calm before storm?

[MommaDucki]

Going back to more storyline things....

So, like I'd said...was not really doing much to try to get H back over the summer of '09...he was with OW1 and as much as I hated it, I didn't feel throwing myself at him would do much good....so I was trying to corrupt OW1 into leaving him, and kept on GAL myself.

I joined my company's softball team. Had bi-weekly practices for two months and then the big game. We lost, but it was still something new for me. Not the most athletically inclined person, but I realized I did in fact enjoy sports.

My parents are big into them, so I never had much exposure to them growing up. Never got caught up in the hype i guess you'd say. Always thought my interest in them once I'd moved out 10 years ago was because I was trying to impress a guy I was with. Turns out NO, I just like them...lol! D3 even watched them with me sometimes.

Aug of '09 when i'd taken my trip to visit H and his family, H was thrown for a loop because I still had a massive scab on my leg from sliding into third base during our game. He was all, "WTH did you do to your leg?" When I told him, he was shocked, "wait! you played on company's softball team?"

Yep! I did because I wanted to.

So moving forward, Kept on working, started bowling with several people from work (I'm FAR from good enough to join a league). Was having fun and keeping busy, but was causing tension at home, and that's when my focus really started shifting away from H and M and into what was going on in my every day life around me.

Started fighting with my parents a lot. Caused them to start fighting with each other. And my brother (who was19 at the time) got busted on some criminal charges. Tension all over the place.

Add to it, my sister, who was also S from her H was stirring up drama of her own down where she and three of my other sisters lived. I was being pulled into their drama as much as i was being pulled into drama btween my parents and brother.

H was still trying to keep lines of communication open at this time, and i kept blwing him off. Wasn't giving him details about what was happening, was simply telling him I didn't have time or care to put into his life right now, but to just keep me informed if he moved or got seriously hurt/sick. he did call me one day to tell me he was in hospital with swine flu. hmm..ok? lol



So into Jan '10 and the start of what I hoped to be another great year. Middle of january, I get a phone call from H telling me that we really need to talk. I was busy right at that moment and told him I'd call him back asap. Was the next day when I got around to it, and he was kinda ticked aout it. Asked him what was up and he went on to tell me...

Our old roomie whose apt we still had stuff at...

Landlord had gotten ahold of H and said roomie was being evicted at end of month, he'd gone by one day to "inspect" the place, and noticed our stuff was still there and wanted to give us a head's up to try to get our stuff out if possible. Told H the place was a disaster and wished us the best of luck. H met up with him to get a key even.

So, H tells me he went over there (insert...H had bought a car for himself previous nov after OW1 left him) Says you can't even open the door. Place was full of cat pee and doodie (sorry for cheesy language...don't want to get in trouble for using words I really want to..lol). Says it was late when he went over and the power's already shut off, so he couldn't see well enough to try to make it upstairs to our room to investigate, but it looks bad and he's not sure he even wants to try to get our stuff.

By our stuff, I mean, bed, all kitchen related things (dishes, appliances, you name it), towels, sheets, pictures, wedding pics, my wedding dress, all my childhood memorobilia, all H's childhood stuff, TV, clothes of mine I'd gotten to big to wear, home decor things....

basically everything I and H owned. Talked to work and got permission to take 5 days off work. Was still using my parents' car at the time...knew it wasn't sound enough to make a trip, but wanted to get down there.

My parents' decided to let me use my mom's SUV, so I loaded up D3, and got on road next morning. Wasa rough trip for her, but I drove about 15 hours almost non-stop, stopped into city where in-laws live and they entertained D3 while I napped for 4 hours...lol. Got up and got back on road to finish 3 hour drive to H's place. Was first time seeing him since previous Aug.

We grabbed some lunch, and then headed over to the apt. All this time, we did manage to get ahold of former roomie. He'd lost his job and left town early dec. Had 5 cats in the pat and had a few people taking large bags of cat food over there every 4-5 days and that was it. We were told that the cats might have gotten into our room at one point.

One of the cats there was actualy my cat. Have had her since she was born in '03. Still not sure why H never went over and grabbed her once he got back into this area. OW1 had a cat of her own, so I think that's partially why he didn't get our cat right away, but once she left, I guess we just never thought about it, or he'd have gotten her. He even said so...that if he'd known she was being kept like that, he'd have called umane society on roomie.

Moving on...

We went over to apt together with D3. When we opened the door, I walked in, and slipped on a pile of cat poop right in the doorway...bad sign...H stayed outside with D3, and I went up to investigate our room....

Everything basically destroyed. All plastic stuff was thrown out, bed, furniture, electronic stuff....what was in the closet in that room hadn't been touch, so pictures, wedding stuff, childhood stuff was salvagable, but i lost a lot of my life that day.

I know they are just things, but I now know how people feel after floods or fires, tornadoes, etc...Not saying I'm just like them...H and I both know we are equally to blame by trusting someone else to actually take care of our things. We made a mistake and we learned from it. We have different stances on it. H blew it off and moved on. I however have since become obsessive over my things and tend to want to hoard stuff so others can't get to it.

Tis is why I'd mentioned it a few posts ago...Caused me to develop a new "condition".

H and I tag teamed our efforts to save what we could. One was inside apt bringing stuff down while other stayed outside with D3 and loaded things up into both his car and my mom's. We traded off every 20 mins or so due to the high amonia smell inside the apt.

stuck by me and helped the entire time. On day 2 of rescue our stuff attempt, roomie turned up to grab what he could of his things. He didn't say a word for the first few hours. Then, as H and I were about to leave to take stuff back to H's apt, roomie said, "for what it's wort, I'm sorry. It shouldn't have gotten to this point and if there's anything I can replace let me know."

All I could think was, "you don't want that bill buddy!" Wish I'd have taken him to small claims court or something. The one thing I was most upset about was the hand made quilt my mom had made for H and I for our wedding. In the end, with help from my mom, we were able to save it.

I took what I could fit in my mom's car back home with me. Left what kitchen stuff was salvagable at H's apt, as I didn't have an immediate need for it at the time. H still says it's mine to take when I'm in my own place.

Anything non-kitchen related that stayed at H's place was left in boxes and stored outside in his storage space, locked on his patio.

So, after this incident, I began wondering what happened to my computer that I'd taken to in-laws a year prior. Asked H about it and he said he must've taken it with when he moved out of there, and was probably left at OW1's grandma's house.

So, I stupidly made the mistake of gong that route again, and got in touch with OW1 to find out about it. She said she found it and threw it away. Also confessed that while H had been at work, she'd deleted all wedding pics, wedding video, and baby pics of D3 that she could find on H's pc because at the time, she was convinced she was going to M H and didn't feel he needed any of those things anymore.

So, now here I am, very little left to my name because I put faith into someone else following their word and got screwed, then find out not only do I now have wedding videos (I had the hard copies of pics), but I don't have baby pics of D3 to show her when she grows up.

I kinda snapped!