I'm going through this with my W as well--she says she "looks forward to the day when she never has to get an email from me again"--and on my end I still define myself as "her husband" in so many ways.
But I can't keep doing that when she doesn't want me to. And neither can you. Because a) it's not fair to us to do that, because it demeans our own identities as powerful, amazing, wonderful people, and b) it REDUCES our chances of getting our spouses back--because if anyone is going to attract them back, it's going to be powerful, amazing, wonderful people.
So be that. Be YOU. It's hard (REALLY hard--I'm going through this myself and I still have days where I wallow in lonely misery) but possible. Whether or not your H comes back to you, this is what you have to be to survive.