I'm lost. need help with WAW

[GAL Man]

Journalling

Nothing much to update

W came around this evening to pick kids up, nothing much said really, she asked how I was etc etc, which I again replied really well (as per my email earlier in the week). I didn’t ask her as I know I will get the stock answer of “I am fine”.

I wanted her to see me this week (as I had made my excuses in the last 2 weeks as to not see her) to change her visualisation in her head of me. I wore new jeans and t-shirt and put some aftershave on so she could see how good I was looking as I have lost about 28lb now (another 14 to go) which would support what her friends had told he about how good I was looking. Unlike last time when she said how good I looked she didn’t this time, but I could tell.

I also acted happy, again to support my recent communications to her and back up what her friends had been telling her.

After taking the kids bowling earlier in the week we had a couple of days off then D14 had a sleepover on Friday night, so I cooked pizza, garlic bread and nibbles and the four of us played boardgames which was good fun. D14 posted on fb what a fab night we had (which W would be able to see). Then today we went to my friends pub and had Sunday lunch (I didn’t have too much) then took kids to see their grandparents. So quite a few activities with the kids this week and we now plan to go bowling every week when I have the kids. I will make it obvious when and where we will be.

D14 was telling me in the car on the way back from Lunch today that W was again asking her last week if I had a girlfriend, as I was sooooo happy and was looking good.

Back to my “single” no kids GAL activities this week ahead LOL

Staying on the dark path again with no contact. It is hard as I know W is so stubborn and as previously mentioned friends think she is expecting me to chase, but I am not going to. Ultimately I think that her stubbornness will stop her initiating things with me and could possible effect her happiness, but that’s up to her. I am now starting to actually feel a lot better in myself, and think that WHEN she comes out of her fog and realises the grass isn’t greener it may be too late.

As I posted of Kaffe’s thread
Strange how others perceive us and we don’t even realise……

One of my good friends said to me yesterday about 6-12 months or so ago he noticed that I wasn’t my old self, but over the last 2 weeks he has seen me change back to the happy, fun, jovial and confident me. One of our mutual friends also said she and her H saw a change in me about 6-12 months ago, but again, back to the real ME again now and how much happier I seem.

I had also received comments in the past few weeks how withdraw from friends and family I had become due to pressures, W etc.

These situations certainly make you sit up and realise quite a lot