Can't think of any words that will comfort you BTM.
Sounds like you have a lot of work to do within yourself.

The thing that helped me handle the pain the most was my prayer life and spirituality, but I wont preach.

If you are truly resigned as you say, you have only one choice and that is make the most of it (Easier said than done I know). But first of all you've got work on letting go of those feelings that make you sad and depressed. It's time.

Is there any thing you wanted to do, but couldn't while married? Or just broaden your horizons. Don't be afraid, you still have a life to live ahead of you.

Me 53 XW 50
M 18 Years +2
S14 D19
Bomb 10-24-10
Served 1-27-11
Mediate 4-21-11
Civil D Final 6-2-11
No church anullment
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."