You did very well. Picking up on the her wanting to hear how you feel is a big thing. Listening yourself was also a big thing.
I would guess that she's distancing herself, because she doesn't trust these changes. It's also possible that she's torn about how she feels. I sometimes think my H would like me to reach out to him, but I can't. I care very much for him and would like to show affection, but I think I'd be leading him down the garden path and just confuse myself in the process. No matter what the reason, the coolness toward you is a protective instinct. It may be a means of protecting you as well as herself.
So, if she files, keep up the changes that you're making. You need to do this because consistency in the face of the worst will show your sincerity. If you get you're wife back you'll need those changes to make it the long haul. And if she still leaves, you'll need those changes to make yourself a better person. In the short term, keep your cool. If she really goes that far, then she probably needs it -- whether to start life anew, or to gain the clarity that comes with space, or to see what happens when she hits bottom and you aren't there to blame. This is someone you love, who is hurting and making decisions about what she needs to do to survive. Detach. It's like that saying, "If you love something let it go."
