Won't stand for a broken family

[Timetotry]

Journaling:

A week has passed since I wrote here and I still don't think I am any closer but I have all positive interactions, consistently everyday.

What other than time will make him realize that he is throwing away a good R? I really thought today there may have been something. We were at D3 dance recital and another group used the song "Isn't she lovely", ironically when we had D1 hed coined that as hers and even used it at her sweet16 party and has said he will use it at her wedding. D1 was mad at him last night and he started to get upset when it played. I asked him what was wrong, he first said nothing, I said the song? He said yes and I rubbed his arm for a minute. D1 was/is the one he is drawn too personality-wise over the years, who he thinks is most like him. Yet, D1 has been almost ignoring him and he has kept distance.

Still no rock bottom for him in the near future. IC asked if I determined a date to act more 'separated' for my own benefit, I said I was thinking 6 months, next month is the goal (especially after reading the Laura Munson story). I don't know if I will go through with it but I am trying to decide if that will change the behavior more than me changing.

I am just so unsure as to what will work for my sitch. Its so hard to detach with him here everyday. IC thinks I am being used to come around and just be at the house and see the kids, so he can avoid his own lonliness. But gives complements, offers to get dinner or asks if I need anything. Who does that who wants a divorce? That will not happen then.

What will make him want to say he is trying or going to try. I feel as if he is to an extent but since the beginning he has always said he doesn't hate me, just isn't happy being married to me.