Five years ago I met a man over the Internet. I was M and he was D. I had an EA with him. Yes, he made me feel really sexy, sick and said all the emotional stuff my heart had longed to hear....but he would have stood by and watched me end my M of many years...and tear my family apart by the roots.....just to get into my pants! Thank God I found this site!

I defended the OM when DB members told me what kind of man he really was. It took a while, but I believe everything they warned me about him....was right on target!

So anyway, let me join the others in assuring you without a doubt that OW is fake! He won't make it with her....nor will he have a chance to try, b/c she is scamming him for money. That is why she will not settle to be a partner and insists on being M. Don't be surprised when he tells you that he has to take you off his life insurance. She is setting him up in a bad way b/c she's trying to make it legal, according to what's on paper.

I suspect that he met her on line before he told you he didn't love you any more. He fell under her spell and she started controlling him. First thing was her finding out how much he was worth. She knows how to get him to brag about his job and how much he makes. All it takes is a little flattery for some (but not all), then second was getting rid of you. That's probably when he was crying, b/c she told him he had to do it or she'd drop him. By that time he was under her "influence" as if he was drugged. Third, was insisting on M. Now she's getting your name off policies, and next will be the life insurance.

He won't listen to his gut and he believes everything she says.....and he's acting like a puppet! Where is his brain? He can't even think for himself anymore? It is a sickness, as if he she had him bewitched! Sad part is, he thinks it's love.

I've seen other men that had similar stitch happen, and the woman would be talking M after the first date! He's sunk if he doesn't find his right mind before she ruins his life.

Here's the thing sweetheart, you can choose to wait around and pick up whatever ashes she leaves (after she's spent all his money and sold all his properties), or you can move forward with a life of freedom. He won't be free as long as she has her claws in him. If he is ever able to escape her hold, you don't know what may be left of him. But, that's your personal decision.

I just want you to understand something. He was an adult when he took you. No matter how mature for your age you may have been, you were still a child. You grew dependent upon him just as you would a parent. You must feel much like a child would feel when the parent forsakes her. ((hugs)) My heart really breaks reading your posts.

You are valuable and you have people who love you. I love to see a woman with some spunk, and I think you have done a great job in the LRT. But, there is just so much you can do. The OW and your partner? You can't control them, but you can control your life.

Whatever your decision, please do not take the final way out. Suicide harms those who are left behind.

Don't think for a second that God is not noticing what's going on or how you are hurting. It doesn't mean that He no longer cares. God is Love. But we don't have the big picture (much less the big knowledge) that God has, and I don't think we begin to understand His love. We tend to compare His love with what we humans define as love. smirk Don't give up on Him. Trust Him and He will give you strength in those bad moments when you don't want to keep living.

Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing. See, this bunch here at the DB Board really cares about those who reach out to us.

(((hugs)))

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!