Kids are staying with her tonight, and they are there now. It hurts when I dont have them as they are truly my life. That is were I have to slap myself with a 2x4, if they are truly my life and I love them unconditionaly, I know right now she is not the one for me. Not that she cant be, but right now she is not. I find myself caught in a rut do to the fact that she came back 10 years ago after leaving. I guess in my head I am waiting again. I have to take the focus off of that for now, she is not ready , nor am I ready for her to come back yet. If OM is done, she still has to face her demons and her family with questions of whey she left in the first place. She has to try to prove to everyone that leaving was the right thing to do. I just spoke with my brother by phone as I needed to talk as I am missing my kids badly right now. He asked what will she have to offer you if she came back. He asked me to think back to 6 months ago before she told me she didnt love me anymore. What type of life did I have with her then. She was always out to late hours partying. She never hugged or kissed on you, the kids would always see her going out and never knowing what time she got back home. They would see her around the house drinking, and never showing them much love and affection. He said at least now they dont have to see it, and I deserve better than that. He said if me and kids are worth more, as I told him, then let her fight the fight to prove it. She knows who I am, he said she knows how much you care, she told him numerous times how good of and husband and father you are. Let her come to you, let her prove to you how much value you truly have. I will continue the journey, I have been detached for 5 weeks now, with now phone calls to her or no text. I have not showed any emotion or made any comments about R or OM.
