Mlc: I have been asking myself those very questions lately. I dont really feel that H did a whole lot for me in terms of being a H. I look at other H's and I feel like they would do anything for their spouse, Some would, some would not. But it's safe to say that the vast majority, would NOT treat their w's the way your h has treated you.
where as my was so self centered and didnt want to do anything I ever wanted or hang with any of the people I wanted. It was all about him and his needs all the time. I never got to do my hobbies with him or get taken out for nice evenings, or get little gifts. He was so thoughtless for the last 4-5 yrs. I bent over backwards for him. And he doesnt even see it. The thanks I get is him leaving me 3 times. Thats crap. Yes it is.
Notsosunny, I feel very supported and loved there. And those are feelings I forgot how they even felt like to have. I hear in alanon all the time that the way my H acts and his withdrawl from my life is very common for a alcoholic. I hate watching him spiral down. I feel so wierd lately. Like, I am not sure I would want him back. I have never felt that way the other times he left me.
Now I know that if he is not sober, I dont even want to really be friends with him. He's NOT sober.
But the last 4-5 years have been terrible. I feel so alone. But I am getting stronger.
Many people tell me lately that I still look like I am 18. I have been told by some of my guy friends that I am a catch... I dont deserve to be treated the way I have been by my H. I believe all of that. But I am not ready to date anyone. Nor do I currently feel like my heart will ever allow me to. Is there something wrong with me? TIPPER
Don't know. This isn't the place to figure out the past so much as what to do now and from now on. But of course you will have to figure all that stuff out eventually. I'm not saying it doesn't matter. But I'm sure not qualified to say if there is something wrong with you.
All I "KNOW"
1) is that your choices have kept you in a toxic relationship for a long, long time,
and
2) you can make different choices.
That seems like enough for now.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
