OK... 81 Days

[Sad_but_happy]

Hi 25... I wanted to just acknologe my roll in the problems of my marriage.

I absolutly detached. But not until more than 8 years of MC. Not until AFTER I told my W that I'm feeling lonely in the M. Not until after I told her that I wanted us to be closer, more connected. I told her that I was feeling like I was emotionally disconnecting from her.

Yes I communicated every feeling I had for years.

I guess you could say that I was the emotionally abused spouse in my relationship.

And I did emotionally leave.

Not because I wanted to.

Not because I didn't live my W.

I guess the best way to describe it is I was Denvers W. I felt unloved and unappreciated. I felt taken for granted.

And so I detached...


And so I see the roll I played. And I'm not deflecting the fact that I emotionally detached.

But no one plays a roll in driving someone to have an A.

Because if I had an A. It would be because I'm weak. Not because my W didn't make me feel loved.

I guess a PA is just MY limit. It's something I couldn't get over. Because its the one thing that my partner and I share that no one else can. It's special and valuable.

And I realize that's just me.

But this board IS about opinion. And I have mine.

Would I forgive my W if she had a PA? At some point I would.

Could I completely get over it? No way...

It means so much more than just a pleasure of the flesh. It's a connection. And for ME (and I'm only speaking for me) THAT connection must stay intact, unbroken and untarnished...