My W and I had a conflict recently, in which I gave a piece of her cheese to my dog, as an incentive to come inside, so we could make it to dance class on-time. She was angry with me for not consulting with her. I got a grin on my face, because I thought she was being too reactive over a piece of cheese. This of course, made the sitution worse. I was able to convey my understanding of her position, which put closure on the issue.
I've come to realize how much of a perfectionist I've been. I don't mean in a high achieving, attention to detail sort of way, but wanting life on my terms way. I don't want unpleasantness, discomfort, conflict, vices, unpleasant emotions from others. This keeps me in a state of disconnection, because I don't want to participate. One can't have intimacy this way. It's a lonely way to live.
I'm letting my W be imperfect. I'm staying with unpleasantness and experiences instead of being quick to judge, or snap at her, or being reactive out of aversion. I'm letting her months of unemployment and years of smoking work itself out at its own pace and manner.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
