Kermit - I am sorry to hear about your situation along with the others. I can tell you from my own experience how beneficial GAL'ing is. If you can get a rhythm going, you will find it very energizing. It sounds like you are starting to get some momentum going with that. Unfortunately you are competing against an idealized lifestyle he has in mind. Although GAL'ing is primarily for you (concentrate on things you would still do even if he came back today), it helps with this.
It sounds like your H has rejected some of his core values. He is in a fog right now. He is not thinking rationally.
It does get better with time. The hills and valley on the roller coaster start to smooth out a bit, especially once you have your game plan in place.
You are doing the right thing. You want to be able to look yourself in the mirror someday and be able to tell yourself you did everything humanly possible to save your M. You also want to be able to look your kids in the eye someday and tell them the same thing.
