I am so lost... Please someone help me!

[sandi2]

I think every new LBH tries to get inside his W's head so he can figure her out. But you can't and you will do self damage and feel more frustrated (which you don't need)and less confident. Just try not doing that b/c it will drive you nuts.

Johnnie, try to look at each day as a challenge. Take your job, your M, and especially your W as a challenge and know that you are the winner in this R. She will be attracted to a leader who has strong character and controls his emotions, plus loaded with a calm sense of confidence. Do react to her telling you she's going out. Just an example.....you could have responded to her email like, "Okay, I'll keep the kids and trade out for tomorrow night b/c I've made some plans". If she asks what are the plans, "Oh just getting out of the house". You don't lie or give people's names (if you say you're going to see friends, she'll want to know who) so give a general answer and always be vague. BTW, I love the cab idea!

Okay, about the kids. I do not believe in constantly telling children to get ready for bed. It becomes a power struggle and the kids usually wear the parent down, so that has to stop. You set a definite scheduled time for bed. Keep the same schedule unless something special. They are to know when it's that time. But, just to help them get use to this new action, I suggest you buy one of those cheap timer's that we use in the kitchen. You set the timer for 30 or 45 minutes (depending on ages), (and I'd place one in their rooms), and when that timer sounds off, you expect them to be in their beds...in their PJ's and with the cover over them. You have to be specific or they will play games just to push the limit and see how much you will take. They are to know that you will come by each room when the buzzer sounds, and if they succeed....they get their earned points, and if not....they get demerits.

You don't yell across the house or upstairs for the kids to go to bed. Make it a special time with them seeing their dad calm and strong. It gives them a secure feeling. If they are in the bed when the buzzer sounds, be sure to give them a big hug when you tuck them in for the night.