my heart is breaking

[kermitdfrog]

Weekends are really tough. Most of my friends are married, and I hate taking them from their families on weekends. I usually am able to set up a lunch with a friend but this weekend that wasn't able to happen. So here I sit on a Friday night in tears. My son (who is home from college for the summer) is out with friends. I just feel so alone. I am trying so hard not to feel sorry for myself but I hate this so much! I am so used to having my husband with me. Not every minute, of course. Remember, he is a workaholic. I did have other things in my life. But weekends we were together. Even throughout our separation, until April when he said he was ready to divorce, he came home every weekend. Plus, I was in a little better place mentally, because there was still hope for our marriage because he hadn't closed the door completely.

Now I know what you will say...that I need to GAL and I am trying so hard! I have been getting together a lot with friends (out to lunch, mostly) and have made a lot of new ones. I have thrown myself more into my job. I signed up to volunteer at the Christian radio station in town, but they haven't called back yet. My hope is that I can do that on Saturdays to break up my weekends. It's just this simple...I just miss him. I wish I didn't love him so much and enjoy being with him so much. We used to have so much fun together. I understand the purpose of GAL. I am just having trouble getting my emotions to cooperate.