I do take Xanax on a as needed basis. But due to my job I can only take them at night.
Ok, I just just had a conversation with the W, that has me confused. I asked the W if she had given another thought to MC. (I know not the smartest convo to start) Anyway the last week things seemed different between us. W answers I dont know...maybe, I dont know. (which is a change from a flat out NO)I say well how about a couple sessions just to see how things go. She I dont know, maybe....but I can not say for certain what I will say, and you know what they will say if I am not 100 % in (not her exact phraseing but I cant remember exact words). I say I know what will happen.
She then states that "I dont know that we will ever have a marriage like we had before". I respond with well that might not be a bad thing, we might be able to make it stronger.After some more convo. she says well if you can stay married to me with out ever having sex again than I am in. I did not respond to this, then she says because right now the thought of having sex with you ..pause..is just not going to happen. I respond with we dont know what will happen 6 months from now or even a year. I dont expect this to be fixed soon....( I know this smacks of desperation, my stomach was twisting and flipping the whole time. I had trouble speaking was very nervous) Now the entire convo was pretty calm no shouting was just a discussion. After couple minutes of little convo., the W says I dont know.
Now I am not sure how to take this ....parts sound bad, but I also see some positives in this convo. because she has weakended on some of the stances of "NO". I know I am going to smacked on this and willing to take it, but would also like some feed back. Thanks, I know this is a long post but trying to get it all in here.
Geez, take a xanax next time you feel the need for the stove...sheesh!!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Something good did come of the convo last night. Some very honest talk. W told me later that night that her decision to file for D sometime this summer was a bit of rush and feels that is not realistic. She said that would not be fair and would not give her time to think things through properly. Then says that she couldnt put a timeline on it but this summer is to soon. (of course I didnt ask for a time line was happy she took this summer off the table.) I basically stood there and listen to her vent. She also was more open to eventually going to MC just not sure now is the time. That she is doing things in her own time and way. In fact she said that is why I (wife) asked you to change your day off so we could do something together, if I wasnt working on this I would have done them without you and just the kids. But I need time to figure this out. I agreed told her how much I appreciated her letting me stay in the house and called it a night. Things were actually nice and light around the house last night...and yes 25 I took a Xanax and just let things be. Going to do that more often even though I hate taking them I like touching the hot stove even less.
Very true Jack. Well I started the backing off even more so today. I havent emailed the wife my normal "good morning, how are you today" email. Kept myself busy at work. Wouldnt you know I got two from her for weekend plans and to ask me how I was doing today. Was kind of shocking....anyway my responses were polite but short. Told her I had been kind of busy but ok. So it has been a good day.
see the "DB Rules" by Sandi....(you have them, right? So live by them)
be upbeat and pleasant...not "short"
so
um, yes "something good did come out of the discussion"...Chris you are the master of the understatement when the news is good...
IT'S VERY GOOD....So keep at it. This --- is----good!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
