Life is a highway

[ninelives]

Thanks Country , i can picture the scene on you deck dude and If I had a frosty, I would raise one right back at you.

I cant explain it country but today I really feel like I dropped the rope... for real. And it is so liberating.

Now tomorrow is another day ( to quote Scarlett) but I believe its real.

You'll get there buddy and its not as bad as I thought It was going to be.

Would I take her back tomorrow? I honestly dont know. I think the difference between me and you is the level of "in your face interaction with my W and other man , it wears on you .

And maybe because I believe she is facing her consequences and not feeling great about them, that maybe thats all I needed to drop the rope.

Cheers

9

[LearningPatience]

9,
I'm super happy for your post above! Life can be wonderful when we let it!

One smallllll caution. You will still have down days. But, as long as you know that ahead of time, you won't be surprised when they happen. For now, life is great, soak in it.

Cheers from the other side of Lake Huron!!

[jbnati]

Sounds like you've had a good day, 9! Good for you! Glad to hear it!

[ninelives]

Thanks everybody for the kind words:

Still feeling good today. I was thinking though, Am I feeling this good because I have worked to try and get over this crap with the help of the wise people on this board? Or am I feeling good because she is miserable.

25 pointed this out to me a number of times so I have to be careful when I analyze this. Her happiness or misery should not be a measuring stick for mine. IM not sure if that is the case right now. I guess only time will tell.

Maybe Im feeling decent because I know that I can be happy again. ITs very strange to have that feeling come in me again where I can radiate to others. Wife always used to say that people ALWAYS said hello to me, even strangers on the street. And its true, Im ususally say hello to people and trying to be upbeat. AND For some reason, that used to bother my W. She said a few times that she was jealous of that because she couldnt feel it from herself.

Anyway, today is day 14 of me even texting her anything or any contact at all. Donnie Darko as country would put it.

I Feel, oh ah, real good. ( any movie buffs want to give me the reference to that quote. Ill give you one hint, Its a sports movie")

9

[jbnati]

Or am I feeling good because she is miserable.

This is a big gotcha. I can't say this didn't cross my mind yesterday. I find myself falling into this trap from time to time.

Her happiness or misery should not be a measuring stick for mine.

Yep. Detach!

[BeTheMan]

Hey Nine - I saw something that you posted on Denver's thread about your W calling you "black and white". STBX always said that about me recently. I am that way, but I now know why she said that. Because she was gray about our relationship and seeing that way allowed her to feel that it was ok to have an EA/PA with OM/Boss. In short, she was gray when it suited her.

Still, I am learning to be less black and white about some things. But not the things that really matter to me - like marriage vows!

So glad for my pact with you and StillLearning. I was sooooo tempted to contact STBX today. I used to visit her on my way to work on Fridays, especially if I was looking good. I thought of that today when I put on a pair of pants she always complimented on...and it's Friday.

So..thanks for being there without being there!

[ninelives]

No probs BTM. Do not go and see her today no matter what. Unless she is on fire and then its up to you how you extinguish the flames. ( sorry bad joke)


I also appreciate your support on this going dark thing. It is helping me alot. Everytime the phone rings I am caring less and less if its her or not.

We will get past this thing. we have to.

9

[LITB]

Wow 9. I haven't been with you since the beginning, but you have made tremendous strides in the time that I've been following along. I am happy that you find yourself in a good place these days.

[LearningPatience]

9,
the positive feelings build on themselves, so keep it up! I understand the always saying hello thing. It's amazing that even when I feel down myself, if I walk with my head up and smiling, say hello and make eye contact with people, it's a great mood enhancer.

Careful with the Donnie Darko thing; stay away from Frank (one of my favorite movies)

[sandi2]

You might expect your W to pull the suicide card. If memory serves me, she did that before, right? When she thinks you are slipping out of her grip, she has to use some type of drama to draw you back. She knows you don't want to feel responsible for her hurting herself.....and you are NOT responsible, but she knows how to work it. She has other people she can lean on. She has to see that you are not going to be roped back into her threats.

I hope you will not date or get involved with another woman who has a lot of baggage or issues. There are too many women out there to choose, so don't settle, okay?

((hugs))