OK... 81 Days

[ninelives]

I dont think SBH is trying to be , for lack of a better term, a jerk here. I think that he is struggling with the concept of foregiveness in an affair, period. My W used to accuse me of being black or white with no shades of gray, and in some topics, I was like that.

I would have sided with SBH 100% a few short months ago, but then you start to see the role that you played, are aware that people are human and sometimes very weak and then another perspective starts to slowly creep up.

All IM saying SBH is that , YES , Affairs are not the right answer and should never have happened but when they do, you have to see the WHOLE picture when you look at it and how you want to proceed. To stand on the self rightoeous soap box is one approach , but where does that get you . I am right and you are wrong , rinse and repeat. STUCK. There are many ways to perceive this issue but do it with an OPEN mind.

I will never agree with what my W did and will always see it for an act of weakness on her part. But then I must admit, my wife is a weak perosn at times and suffers from poor choices. I MUST forgive this for the following reasons

1) I need to heal and not be stuck in bittersville Ont
2) My kids need to see a strong perons that can be happy
3) IF , Recon is ever a possibility, then I need to forgive

ITs up to you SBH how you perceive your sitch down the road.
Denver has his agenda and knows what he wants. Do you?

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