I intend to live forever - so far, so good

[ClingingToHope]

Hey, this is my last post in this thread. Barring something unforseen, I'll be officially single by around 2 p.m.

That's when I'll start working my summer part-time job, and I'll start a new thread tonight.

My sister last year said she could tell by my mood if my money situation was going well. It's so true.

This weekend should give me just enough extra money to get through the summer in good shape with the girls. I am excited about going -- and I woke up not so mopey and miserable.

This goes back to my childhood. My dad had a MBA and was a plant manager growing up and I didn't want for anything.

Even when my parents divorced things didn't get worse financially because we went to live with my grandmother, who had a very big house and a huge pool and I still didn't want for anything.

Then my grandmother died when I was in college and all of a sudden we weren't so well off. We weren't dirt poor, but my family's disposable income plummeted and things were tense.

After college, I was working at a small paper, not making much and watching every dime.

Then I got married, we both got a series of promotions and we weren't rich, but money wasn't a worry.

I have struggled with money being a worry again.

Church_31 is in much tougher financial straits than I am and yet she seems so peaceful and serene. Maybe it's an act. Maybe she spends every day freaking. She's told us in group that there have been a couple of times where she had no idea where her car payment was going to come from -- but then she found a way.

She has faith -- and a very nice car, I might add.

I need faith -- or at least more of it.

I won't see the girls again until Sunday or Monday -- probably Monday. I have them next week for a week and it'll be good. They get tiring -- especially being together so much -- but we'll do our Chicago trip on one day. I'm going to split them up a little -- take D12 to her friend's house up north for a day and then drop D8 at one of her friend's places for a day. That'll give them a bit of a break from each other.

Every summer is different and I'll adjust. I just have to keep my life simple. Live without anger, which means living without fear. Without anger, there is no bitterness. Everything else will take care of itself.