I know I have to GAL and think about making myself better as I move forward. I know that I have to let her take her own path. I don't know if I should be the nice guy and help her through this mess, or if I should play hardball so that she can see what reality looks like down the road.
She is so depressed. I may be getting the blame, but I am not the entire reason. I desperately want this cloud to clear from over her head. Wish I knew how to do it.
FIrst of all, there is fine line between just "being used" for convenience and being a "beacon of safety and fond memories". Only you know for sure. If she is suffering from depression, it won't hurt anything to be there for her as long it's not making you feel depressed as well.
There is no objective definition of "doormat." If you feel like a doormat, you're a doormat and if you don't you're not. It's that simple.
But let me tell you this. There is no formula or magic to guide her out of her fog - it's HER fog. There's nothing you can do to speed things up or slow them down. The controls are out of your hands. Accept that as fact, and then you may want to make it very difficult for her to dislike you. When she looks back on this episode in her life, how will she remember the way you handled it? Rock? or Jello?
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
