I can't offer the "dark" advice with four kids. I can't even comprehend what I've seen. I have just moved on. Not to be a downer, just being honest.
When you get hammered with your faults, and they "try" to get YOU to be the bad guy. It's usually a justification for their bad behavior. My opinion, she's probably hiding something.
The bright side...YOU came here. Something is wrong. You know it; I know it; Others know it. What do you want to accomplish?
What are you willing to ACCEPT and change to let us help you?
I hate to say this but with her attitude, she probably has FOUND a Knight in shining armor. Just a hunch, but the signs seem real. Not to anger you or make you feel like crap, but we have to "save" you before we can even begin to "save" your marriage.
Stay strong and know, we don't know you. We're unbiased. Let all of it out.
