So, you've tried being passive guy, you've tried being direct guy.... Try something different.
What might that be? How can you keep getting into the old fights if you are doing something different?
Finally, step back. You are very defensive, not detached here. That points to being very defensive, not detached (rather oppositional) in your own life. Get clinical. Step back. Look.
From a distance, you and W look to be jabbing each other equally, hurting each other through explicitly explained withdrawal of commitment. You've both done that.
